Nory Pouncil

In honor of breast cancer awareness month, I sat down with my friend/soror/professional cancer slayer Deniece to chat about her breast cancer diagnosis. She opened up about her fears, her journey and how she overcame them.

Over the past four years, I’ve experienced two breast cancer scares, and both were traumatizing. Today I am chatting with Deniece S. Style, a 33-year-old Breast Cancer-Slaying Queen. Deniece not only opens up about her journey, but she is also sharing her new project #SLAYCancer and advising young women in her position.

Nory: First of all, Thank you so much for chatting with me and opening up about your breast cancer diagnose. Over the past four years, I’ve experienced two breast cancer scares, and both were traumatizing. I hope this interview will demystify some myths around breast cancer particularly for younger women. Why don’t we get started? Tell me a little bit about yourself and your life before the diagnosis?

Deniece: My name is Deniece Mitchell, and I am 33-year-old Visual Merchandiser and Wardrobe Stylist. Life before cancer was pretty “normal.” A few months before my diagnosis, I reconnected with the boyfriend I had at 17, and we began seriously dating.

My career was blossoming as a visual merchandiser with plans of relocating to another state with my job. I had an overall clean bill of health for 32 years and was somewhat active (does taking ‘brukwine’ classes count as exercise? lol). I loved attending church (was just recently baptized!) and just enjoyed spending quality time with my family, friends, and Sorors. Life was good!

Nory: Any “wine” class counts as exercise lol. Congratulations on getting baptized and YASS to a new love! Let’s shift gears a little and let us talk about your diagnosis. What was that like?

Deniece: I found a lump in my breast from self-examination ( E A R L Y D E T E C T I O N ) around this time last year. Before this, there was always a “dark cloud of cancer” looming over me. You see, my mom is a proud 11-year breast cancer survivor. I never wanted to utter the words “I could have cancer one day” because I’m a firm believer that what comes out of your mouth will eventually come to pass.

Doctors told me I was “too young” to worry about cancer now and that I should start getting yearly mammograms beginning at age 40. So when I found the lump, I was in denial for a few weeks- until it began to grow and become painful and I could no longer ignore it. In December, a sonogram and biopsy were performed.

At first, the doctor rudely and abruptly called and told me I had stage 0 breast cancer (the abnormal cells were just found in the lining of the breast milk duct and had not yet spread to the surrounding breast tissue) I was in shock but totally RELIEVED it was caught before it spread.

I asked my chapter Sorority sister to come along with me to have my first visit with the breast surgeon because she is a nurse and both of my parents were away. The doctor broke the news that I had stage 2 breast cancer and not stage 0. Immediately, I felt like I floated outside of my body and every word spoken afterward was in a foreign language (Thank God Linda was there to write down the boat load of info I just received).

This was SIX days before my 33rd birthday. After being consoled by Linda, I sat in my car for about an hour thinking. I thought about-about how I would break my parents’ hearts with this tragic news. Then I worried about never being able to get married and have children. I was utterly depressed for a few days…but then God stepped in…..

Nory: I can’t imagine what that must’ve felt like. When I had my first breast cancer scare, I panicked, and borderline began planning my funeral. I am eager to know, how is a 33-year-old woman dealing with all of this? I know you are a woman of strong faith. How is your faith helping you fight back? Tell me about your testimony.

Deniece: JEREMIAH 29: 11 is how I’m fighting. After the initial shock, denial, and dismay, I relied and still depend on the Lord because he has “plans to prosper me and not to harm me…plans to give me hope and a future”.

After diagnosis, everything went at lightning speed. I had iron intravenously administered to me for five days because of anemia, surgically had a mediport placed in my chest and finally began four months of chemotherapy. I dramatically changed my eating habits/ diet which was a lifestyle shock (I didn’t realize just how important it is to carefully watch what I ingest).

After my 2nd treatment and BEFORE chemo robbed me of my shoulder length locs, I stole back my power and organized a ” Cut-It Party” – a beauty makeover experience where my friends, family, and Sorors gathered to see me transition from full locs to a beautiful baldie. The event included a live DJ, cocktails and some friends even displayed solidarity with me by shaving/cutting their hair.

This was the beginning of my TESTimony (please remember that this is my Jesus year!); taking a tragedy and turning it into triumph all while giving God all the praise. I made it my mission to redefine the image of the typical “cancer patient,” not only with a positive mindset but also with boldness and style.

I began blogging about this whole new cancer world that I was now a member off. Soon after, I started the #SLAYCancer fashion/ cancer lifestyle brand as a movement to destroy the disease using fashion fierceness to inspire awareness. I want my chic merchandise to spark conversation about the importance of early detection and the fact that young black women CAN and DO get breast cancer.

My hope is that the #SLAYCancer brand inspires, uplifts and encourages at least one person to be proactive about their health. Bridging my love of fashion with my new found passion for encouraging young black/latina women to check their breasts regularly has grown from a simple idea to my purpose. Yes! Breast cancer gave me a sense of purpose. There cannot be a TESTimony without the TEST…and I am a living example of that!

Nory: You are simply amazing. I love how you’ve taken this challenging and life changing situation and turned it into something positive and uplifting. I’ve spotted some of the #SLAYCancer pieces on Instagram; I need to get with the program and grab one before they are all gone. Many women under 40 think they are too young to worry about breast cancer. What advice would you give to a young lady who was recently diagnosed?

Deniece: I would advise women to remain positive, prayerful and to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. I realize now that I was afraid of cancer and chemo before it even started. I was scared of the unknown. Allow yourself to physically, mentally and emotionally go through the process.

It is okay to grieve your hair or your breasts or the way your life USED to be. Just know there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Always remain grateful and thankful! Remember although things may seem bad now, things could always be worse. Also please KNOW you can SLAY without hair or eyebrows! You can SLAY without even having breasts. Your beauty will shine from the inside out- no need for hair, eyebrows or breasts!

Nory: “Your beauty will shine from the inside out- no need for hair, eyebrows or breasts!” I love that! How can we support you and #SLAYCancer?

Deniece: Of course, I MUST say you can support me by visiting my site reading my blog to find out more about my breast cancer journey (which is NOT over) and by purchasing some #SLAYCancer merchandise so that you can say “Eff Cancer” and spark healthy conversation all while looking fly!

More importantly, however, you can support me by telling a friend to tell a friend to CHECK THEIR BREASTS because young ‘normal” black women and men can and do get cancer. EARLY DETECTION SAVES LIVES….and I firmly believed it saved mine.

Can’t thank Deniece C. Styles enough for chatting with me and sharing her testimony. Be sure to stop by her site and check out her look book. More importantly do not forget to encourage the women in your life to check their breast, regularly!

We’re beginning the last quarter of the year which has the most occasions for food temptations. In October, we start off with the candy fest on Halloween.

Halloween is known for being one of the unhealthiest times of the year. It is all about the candy! But you do not need to worry because LaKisha is telling you how to stay healthy in 5 simple steps. We are not kidding!

I LOVE sweets! I remember mindlessly eating candy and sweet treats without regard to nutrition or its effects on my goals. So what’s changed? I’ve found five ways to stay healthy during Halloween.

Be Mindful

Before I started my journey in April 2015, you couldn’t tell me anything about eating sweets. I loved them. I wanted them. I would have them! I ate them whether I was hungry or not. Halloween would give me the opportunity to overindulge.

My kids would always get the GOOD candy during the festivals. I would help myself to their stash, while sparingly giving them a few pieces at a time. LOL

Now I ask myself the following questions before indulging: Am I starving? Do I have the self-control to only eat one suggested portion/serving size? How will this affect my healthy living goals?

This usually helps me to curb my choice to indulge in the sweets. If not, I engage in some activity that involves one of my favorite hobbies (i.e. cross stitch, reading, etc.). By focusing on something else, sometimes the craving/temptation passes.

Track Everything

I know that this is a personal decision. I can only share my experience. I never wanted to track my meals. I thought it was too much work. I never wanted to be held hostage to tracking my meals for the rest of my life.

But God has a sense of humor. When He tells you to do something, He knows WHY you need to do it. For me, tracking has given me freedom with my food choices.

I track everything I eat via My Fitness Pal. Before eating, I review the nutrition of the candy/sweet treat and its effects on my daily goals. I never knew the nutrition of most food, especially candy/sweet treats. I would eat the entire bag of candy thinking it was one serving size.

When I found out that many of these packages were multiple servings, I was able to make better decisions because I am better informed. Although I still struggle with emotional eating at times, I’m stronger.

Find Healthy Sweet Treat Substitutes

If I’m still struggling with my temptations, I try to find a healthy sweet treat substitute. I know you’re thinking, healthy sweet treat sounds like an oxymoron. LOL But I promise you, this has satisfied my sweet treat cravings sometimes.

I try to have my favorite fruit on hand to help satisfy my sweet cravings. Bananas, Gala apples, grapes, and oranges have hit the spot. I still track these snacks to stay on target for my daily nutrition goals.

If the fruit doesn’t do the trick, then I do a little more work. I love to bake, and I love Google and Pinterest. If you do enough research, you will find some great healthy sweet treat recipes. Be open-minded.

Some of the recipes may not seem enjoyable at first. You may have to do a lot of trial and error to tweak the recipes to your palate. But I’ve found two recipes that help me satisfy my chocolate cravings.

I’ve made Healthy Mocha Brownies and Healthy Chocolate Oatmeal Muffins. Don’t be spooked by the secret ingredient in the brownies. They are GOOD!

My kids never knew about the part until I told them! LOL, I eat one brownie or muffin and then I’m usually good. Because I’ve made a large batch, I can store them in an airtight container in the refrigerator for later.

Hide the Candy

If none of the above steps are working, then maybe you need to hide the stash. LOL! Last Halloween, my kids got a HUGE stash of candy. They had all of my favorites; all types of chocolate candy, Smarties, Starburst, taffy and more. I tried the steps above but found myself still indulging. So I hid the stash.

The goal was to hide it from the kids so they wouldn’t sneak more candy. But I mistakenly hid it from myself! LOL, My children kept asking for the candy, and I didn’t know where it was. I think I found the candy a month later!

LOL But by hiding it, I couldn’t indulge. Or get someone else in your household to hide it. This way the kids get their treats, and it’s out of sight and out of mind for you.

Balance

After 17 months on this journey, I’m still using trial and error to find balance in adopting a healthy lifestyle. God is healing me from the inside-out so that I can have a lasting change. I know that by only focusing on deprivation and extreme restrictions (i.e., NO candy), it only makes me want/crave it more.

So if I choose to indulge, I do it without the guilt and condemnation. I just pray for wisdom on how to make better choices next time.

I don’t allow myself to go into a downward spiral where I totally abandon my goals and plans. I know if I go there, it’s hard to come out. By remembering that this is a journey and lifestyle change, helps me to remain committed.

For me, a balanced, healthy lifestyle has ups and downs. But with God’s grace and mercy, He can help me to turn those “down” times into lessons learned.

Be encouraged on this journey! You can overcome these temptations. Remember it is one day at a time!

Check out my latest weight loss update here.

In the winter of 2012, I walked into the ob-gyn office for a routine checkup. The exchange went something like this.

Doctor: Have you been checking your breast lately?

Me: Yes, to the best of my ability.

Doctor: Then what is this lump am feeling? Have you felt it?”

It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and today I am sharing how NOT to handle a lump in your breast. Learn how this experience forced me to face my fears and take my health more seriously.

No woman wants to ever hear those questions. I looked at her in shock and disbelief. I remember thinking about a million things before I muttered the words “No, I have not.” Then I began praying, Lord please don’t let it be cancer.

I was freaking out. She began to comfort me by telling me that I shouldn’t worry too much until I see the specialist (easy for her to say). But it was too late, in mind I had cancer, and my life was over.

I cried uncontrollably for what felt like hours, somehow I got myself together and went home. I promised to make my appointment.

When I got home, I sat on my bed and was overwhelmed with fear. In my mind, I was planning my funeral. I wanted to make my appointment, I really did, but that would make it real. That would make me face that there was a chance I might have cancer.

So I waited, I didn’t mention anything to anyone. I went on about my life and waited. For a while, I convinced myself to forget about it. Four months later, I got the courage to tell my best friend and my boyfriend (now husband).

Both got on me about waiting so long, but they had the same message.

It is better to find out, and do something about it, than to wait and do nothing.”

That same week I finally made my appointment. I went to the first meeting, and I was petrified. I was told I had to come back to get my tests done. This time I did not procrastinate, I made my appointments right away.

Something about having my loved ones behind me really made feel like I was being held accountable. After all, I knew they would ask, and I knew I couldn’t lie to them.

In the end, it turned out that I didn’t have cancer. I did have to get the lump surgically removed because of its size, but more importantly, I was okay. Both my best-friend and my boo accompanied me to my surgery.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

Two reasons

First, it is October aka Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I want to remind you that it is crucial that you are regularly checking your breast for lumps. Fellas (I know you are here), I encourage you to be open about talking to the women in your life about breast cancer and how it impacts them.

Second, I don’t want you to let fear get in the way of your well-being. As I reflect on my experience, I know I should have done things differently. For starters, I should have told someone right away, this was a very emotional experience and going through it alone actually made it worst.

Instead of drowning myself in a glass of water, I should have scheduled all the appointments ASAP. It turns out that I did not have cancer, but if I did those months I sat down procrastinating out of fear, could have been detrimental to my health.

Once I spoke to my loved ones I felt so much better. I felt able and accountable, which pushed me to take care of myself. I often think back on this experience and feel that transitioning to a healthy life is not that different.

Both can be emotionally draining, fear can paralyze you, and both can impact your health. But if you tell someone, if they hold you accountable, if they support you and encourage you, you will come out victorious. iAmHealthyFit is here to do just that.

Earlier this year, I found a second lump. This time, I did not wait. I told my husband right away and went to the doctor the next morning. Once again, it turned out to be nothing, but this time, I was prepared not let fear get in the way.

Do not forget to leave me your comments below! Have you or anyone you love experienced a breast-cancer scare? What is your advice to help those in that situation?

 

You can be mentally healthy with a mental illness.”

— Dr. Charneta Scott

When was the last time you spoke to someone about your mental wellness? Earlier this month I attended the “Saving Us” Mental Wellness Dinner + Dialogue hosted by Black Girls Smile in Washington, DC. It was an event aimed at having an open dialogue around mental wellness.

When was the last time you spoke to someone about your mental wellness?

Earlier this month I attended the “Saving Us” Mental Wellness Dinner + Dialogue hosted by Black Girls Smile in Washington, DC. It was unbelievable. Here is why!

As someone who is currently dealing with the loss of a loved one, I was excited to not only attend but learn from professionals about how to manage my mental health. This event was such a blessing for me. From the founder of Black Girls Smile to the speakers, to every single attendee, this was exactly where I needed to be. Here is why!

We heard from five powerful women, who shared their stories and opened up about their battles with mental wellness. Here are five lessons that resonated with me from this inspirational event.

Schedule time for your mental wellness. Especially if you are on social-media.”

— April Reign

Social media can be a superb tool. It is great for networking, promoting your brand, researching, and learning new skills. But there is also a very dark side to social media, a side which often makes my skin cringe. Yes, I am talking about all the bullying, discrimination, racism, sexism and all the other isms you can think about.

To preserve your sanity, it is crucial that you take a break from that space. As April said,

you are not a super woman/man. You can’t do everything for everyone. What are you doing to care for yourself?”.

After this event, I’ve committed to spending less time on social media and devoting that time to improving my mental health.

April Reign, sharing her journey with mental health at the “Saving Us” Dinner in DC.

Self-care starts with being honest with yourself and giving yourself permission to be ok with that.”

— Rachel Voss

Yasss Rachel! You are telling my story! How many times have you been unrealistic with yourself because you are focused on trying to be like someone else? I’ve been there before. I’ve sought to do things and behave in certain ways because I thought that was what I needed to do.

I am not sure how I got to that point, or why, but I had to have a serious coming to Jesus meeting with myself. Social media has only made this worst. Remember that people post what they want you to see on social media, there is more to who they are and what they are going through.

Navigating the mental health system can be very difficult, don’t do it alone.”

— Theresa Nyugen

I remember seeking a counselor earlier in my life; it was such a lonely experience. I couldn’t talk about what I was dealing with because I didn’t want to be called crazy. It was refreshing to be able to speak freely about my feelings without fear of being judged.

I know seeking mental health can be very tough and finding the right type of help can be worse. I encourage you to be patient with yourself and do not give up on your mental wellness needs.

People should feel comfortable sharing that they take care of their health.”

— Dr. Marissa C. Leslie

Why are we ashamed of admitting we take care of our mental wellness? We aren’t ashamed of going to the dentist, the hairdresser, the OBGYN, or any other doctor. How come when it comes to our mental health we wear our pain as a scarlet letter and not a badge of honor?

We all deserve good mental health and should be proud of seeking it. Sharing your story will help someone dealing with mental illness.

Not everyone has a mental illness, but everyone has to take care of their mental health.”

— Dr. Charneta Scott

Can we get a standing ovation for this message from Dr. Charneta Scott, please and thank you! How many times have you heard someone say,

I am good, I am not crazy”?

Why do we love the term “crazy” so much? What does it even mean? As someone who is passionate about healthy living, I had to learn that I had to take care of my mental health.

Sometimes mental illness manifests itself clearly, and others, the signs are a little more subtle. Just because you do not have a mental illness, it doesn’t mean you don’t need someone to help you learn how to deal with the death of a loved one. It doesn’t make you weak; it shows how strong you are.

I hope you enjoyed these lessons and I hope you take them with you when you are thinking about your mental wellness. Remember, make time for your self-care.

Give yourself permission to be ok with who you are, do not navigate the mental health system alone, it’s ok to share your journey, and you must take care of your mental health! Thank you so much to Kristina Bigby for sharing this opportunity with me.

I would love to know your thoughts. How do you deal with mental wellness? Is this topic discussed in your home? What kind of things do you do to take care of your mental health?